A special time Oct 1 & 2

Today is my daughter's 30th birthday. Congratulations!
Yesterday would have been my husband's 59th birthday. We always celebrated these together My daughter is in London and I was not with either of them. Therefore, It was a day of mixed emotions. My son phoned me early, and talked lots of good sense to his Mum, and my daughter rang later just to say she was thinking of me, and to tell me her plans for her celebration. I had sent her flowers to her office, but she had not seen them yet. There was a present from her brothers which she was going to open today.

Last night was a special night for another reason. It was the trophy night at my husband's old Rugby Club and the major award for the top grade is in his name. I had accepted the invitation to present this as I have in the past, but one of the kids has always been there before. This was another thing to do on my own.

However, help came in many ways. My youngest son messaged two friends he knew would be there, and as soon as I walked in the door these two 21 year olds were at my side with welcome kisses and making me feel at ease. They were sober and helpful throughout the night. I was most impressed. Dan won an award for the highest point scorer in the club and Shazza was busy running the powerpoint presentation.

Another lady who knew me when I was a student nurse, came to relive old memories. I was older than her and, apparently, I was one of her idols! She left and I joined the other 'oldies' while the other awards were presented. During this time food and drinks were consumed and the noise only dropped to a hum - it was never quiet. Usually I give a speech, but I thought this was not going to work out with the noise and the general level of interest in the proceedings or lack thereof.

However, to my surprise, when I went to the microphone there was silence! I thanked the club for honouring John in this way, and explained I had a chest infection (which was true) and not that I was upset, to explain my croaky voice. I told the story of my younger son's very brief career in footy this year, as he had broken his collar bone with the very first tackle, the very first time he touched the ball. I added he was in Canada and had played sport over there and was bloodied, but I did not wish to know, as all his bones were intact I presumed. This seemed to be well received, and I announced the winner and returned to the crowd.

Ben Mowan came and spoke to me and told me of his plans with the Reds and other young ones came up and spoke as did the women's team captain Selena.

The amazing thing about this event was I was anxious and a bit fragile before going, but after it, I felt so much better. People were welcoming and kind and I was kissed by lots of people (another Widow Moment!) Maybe I was just relieved I had not made a fool of myself! The other funny thing about this and lots of other public events, someone often goes on about about how well I am coping, and that they could not do this in the same circumstance. I am not really sure how to answer this except to say I am only doing what I have to do! It is sink or swim. Next year it will be easier I guess.

Today I went to Church and prayed for my daughter, and visited good friends, and watched a video with them, and had a few phone calls which was a bit tricky with a husky voice, but sometimes one just has to do these things. It is funny how one gets past these special times and then everything is OK again.